


Room To Heal

by TN_Night



Series: #EruriWeek2015 [6]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Drabble, Drinking, Eruri Week, M/M, Might Edit This Later, Minor Character Death, Not Beta Read, Sad, Writer's Block, fUCK ME, oh well, shitty - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 09:38:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4516950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TN_Night/pseuds/TN_Night
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The process of Levi's healing after his mother's death. </p>
<p>Written for Eruri Week 2015, day 6, healing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Room To Heal

**Author's Note:**

> So I spent all day thinking about what the hell to do with this because now I've come down with another case of writer's block. Yay. I'm sorry this is so shitty, I really was drawing a blank for this. Hope you like it regardless, though. Maybe I'll get over this soon and actually edit the new chapter of Day After Day that's just sitting here on my desktop, yeah? Anyway, enjoy :)

 

 

"Levi, just sit. Walking around and stressing over every little thing won't help anyone, including yourself. Just calm down, please," Erwin said softly, gently ushering his husband over to the couch in the middle of their apartment living room.

 

"I know, I know. I just don't think I _can_ relax," Levi said, taking a seat anyway.

 

"Just try. We'll watch t.v until bed. Stay here, I'll make some tea," Erwin said, moving into the kitchen and leaving Levi on his own for a few minutes. 

 

_"What if she's not okay? What if she's dead right now? Would I even know? Would they call me?"_ Levi thought, already biting his nail. He stared blankly in front of him, not even focused on what was happening on the screen. He'd been spacing out a lot recently, he couldn't really focus on anything since his mother had been admitted into the hospital. Erwin had told him repeatedly that he could go visit her and that he'd be right there beside him if he did, but even if that was so, he felt as though if he were to be in the room with her she'd just…break; she'd just die right there in front of him, and nobody would be able to do anything about it.

 

And so, he'd stay away. He wouldn't go into that hospital room. If he wasn't there, she was safe. That's all that mattered. 

 

He suddenly felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, and while he didn't exactly have a desire to talk to anyone at the current moment, if it was from his work or the hospital he'd have to answer eventually. 

 

"Hello?" 

 

"Hello, is this Levi Ackerman?" A woman's voice asked from the other end.

 

"Yes, it is. How can I help you?" He sat up straighter, more focused on the call.

 

"I've called to inform you of the passing of your mother, Kuchel Ackerman, here at Maria Hospital." 

 

Levi's eyes went wide, "I-I'm sorry, she's…she's gone?"

 

"Yes, I'm very sorry for your loss," she said sympathetically.

 

When Erwin walked back into the room and found a sobbing mess of his husband on the floor, he knew they would have a long road of healing ahead of them to do. 

 

–––––––––

 

As Erwin had guessed, there was not a day that went by where Levi seemed even the slightest bit happy. He hadn't seen his husband laugh, smile, or even show an interest in things since his mother died. 

 

It was obvious from the beginning, from the first moment he was in the same room as the two of them he could see they were extremely close. They'd visited her often, and when he wasn't around her they'd be on the phone talking or texting. Of course, it wasn't constant, Levi and Erwin did spend a lot of time together, but aside from the blond, Kuchel Ackerman was most likely Levi's best friend. 

 

He'd known about Levi's past with her, how it was so hard on the two of them and how they were forced to do things they would've rather not done; it must've been what'd brought them so close together in the first place. There was nothing wrong with it, but once you spend your whole life with one person, having them just be…gone at a moments notice, he could understand how it would really break someone. 

 

Sadly, the one he loved most now had to face that harsh reality.

 

 

–––––––––

 

 

"Levi, what are you doing?" Erwin asked, putting down his messenger bag and walking briskly over to the man laying on the sofa, glass of fuck knows what in his hand.

 

"You keep tellin' me to relax, so I'm relaxin'," he responded back, words slurred and breathe tainted with alcohol.

 

The other sighed, "This isn't what I meant. C'mon, let's get to bed."

 

Erwin wasn't even sure which days where his worst, though the days he actually did do things, even if the things were harmful rather than productive, were probably his best. He doubted his husband even _moved_ on his worst days. 

 

 

––––––––––

 

 

Months later, things started to look up a bit. Levi was eating more, talking more, and he generally seemed a bit looser, less tense. He wasn't having panic attacks anymore, and he wasn't working on drinking himself into a coma, Erwin had faith in the optimistic outlook. 

 

However when he came home one day to a dead silent apartment, he got a bit worried; seeing as he hadn't seen Levi go out much, he had to be there somewhere.  

 

"Levi?" Erwin called once, glancing into the living room to start with. Finding no one, he moved to the bedroom, slowly opening the door incase he was just sleeping.

 

He breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw the other laying on the bed, no bottles of booze or pills laying around him. He still checked his pulse anyway. He didn't mind being scared, just as long as he had no real reason to be. 

 

 

–––––––––––

 

 

With the year anniversary of the death fast approaching, Erwin prepared for the worst, but when all Levi said about it was that he wanted to visit her grave, he assumed he was just overreacting again.

Worrying about something that wouldn't happen in the end. 

 

Which did turn out to be wrong on his part. 

 

They drove up to the graveyard, parking the car on the side of the path and walking the short way up to the stone that read, _"Kuchel Ackerman, 1968 - 2015"._ Levi kneeled down, placing the flowers they'd purchased on the way over right under the gravestone before running his fingers over the numbers engraved. 

 

"She really was way too young," he whispered, resting his head on the stone.

 

Erwin hummed in agreement, sitting down next to his husband and soothingly rubbing his back when he started to cry silently, holding him close when it got to be too much, and carrying him back to the car when he accidentally fell asleep in his arms. 

 

He definitely wasn't perfect yet, but compared to a year ago, it was a world of difference– Erwin would bet that a year prior, Levi wouldn't've even have been able to handle the mentioning of going to her grave. Any little bit is improvement, and there will always be time to heal. 

 

 

 

 


End file.
